Haste Is of The Devil

I keep on talking about ‘the past 7 months’, since this is the official time when we separated (divorce happened a few months later). The past 7 months have been horrible for me, in every way you can possibly imagine.

Separation is always hard, but when children are involved, it’s 10 times harder, and when the other side decides to end things without explaining or allowing you to express yourself, it’s 100 times harder. You get the point.

I was in an emotional and mental breakdown; grieving the loss of a partner, grieving the loss of  a relationship, but mostly – grieving the loss of a family, our family.

So many ups and downs have happened throughout these 7 months, substantially more downs. Every time I felt a little stronger, a new obstacle would come in my way (you can read about the latest here). I kept on feeling like there is no way out of this endless pain and misery.

Continue reading “Haste Is of The Devil”

My Private Saturdays

Being divorced, I ‘get’ to have 2 weekends a month  for myself. Right after my divorce, these weekend were a living hell. I spent my weekends hiding in bed, crying, grieving and missing my little girl so badly. I wasn’t coping very well and literally slept throughout the weekend.

That wasn’t a good way of dealing with may pain, but at that time, that was the only way I knew. It was really self destructive, not only for myself, but also for my family. They knew that whenever the weekend approached they had to be ‘on call’ and make sure I was okay, alive.

It is only now, that I’m starting to cope with my weekends in a more stable and constructive way. Sure, I still miss my girl when she’s away with her father, but I know she’s doing well and I recognise the fact that it’s important for her to have a healthy relationship with each of us.

Nowadays, I’m able to take some time for myself and make my weekends really fruitful. I got to work on Friday, although I really don’t have to, since this is a good distraction for me (plus, I get to complete missing hours). I cook and clean the house, i watch favourite TV programmes, I blog and spend quality time with my family.

I get to rest, process and deal with the pain rather than run away from it.

How are you spending your weekends?